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@chocolat_ice_cream

Let’s celebrate the International Women’s Day. A world without women…. would be a pain in the ass.

0

@roastedtoperfection

I’ll never forget my Grandpa’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

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@OssToYouGoodSir

A father is washing the car with his son. After a moment the son asks his father: “do you think we could use a sponge instead?”

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@breckendusk

My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex. My girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.

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@MrSpikeGaming

I picked up a hitchhiker and he was surprised.

He asked me, “Dude, why did you give me a lift? What if I was a serial killer?”

I laughed and replied, “The chance of two serial killers being in the same car is astronomical”

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@ANewDope2187

I hope Death is a woman. That way it will never come for me.

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@Soulchunk

An IQ below 70 qualifies you for having an intellectual disability.

Now I just need to figure out if that’s in Celcius or Fahrenheit

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@DomComedy

“Private browsing” is a remarkably acurate name.

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@MananTheBox

They say “Those who don’t remember the past are doomed to repeat it.”
That’s why whenever I have sex, I immediately forget about it afterwards.

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@AlexAveryisdead

Somebody recently told me that all women are liars, but I know that’s not true, cause a woman told me.