Reason

Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said… “No. That’s why we want to go to the moon.”

Link »

Apparently there’s a new sex position called Parcel Force. You stay in all day and no one comes

Link »

My wife said, “You always come home in a bad mood…” “I can’t remember the last time you came home in a good mood.” I said, “That’s because you weren’t here.”

Link »

Next year

Putin visits Ukraine Immigration officer says: “Name?”. – “Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin”. “Address?” – “Kremlin, Moscow, Russia”. “Occupation?” – “No, probably next year”.

Link »

My money

I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.

Link »

Cancel

This year, my New Years resolution is to finally go to the gym… … and cancel that membership I’m been wasting money on every month since last year.

Link »

Do you understand me?

My new year’s resolution is I’m going to be less condescending. And by the way, condescending means talking down to people.

Link »