@Funny face

A man walks into the library and asks the librarian.. ”where can I find a book on female orgasms??” She leads him to shelf G….. “there sir, that’s the spot”

@ST

@Mars Bonfire

my mother never breast fed me as a baby

she said she liked me as a friend

That does suck

@AbusementPark

I was using a self checkout at the grocery store and the machine said “Insert cash … or pay another way”… so I got down on my knees.

learned how to say hi in mandarin.

@de_le_Ted

One day after sex, my girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian.

Me: “That’s ok, it doesn’t worry me at all”.

Her: “Awesome! I really prefer so much being a Christine!”

@MO

I’m divorcing my wife. First it was the pool guy, then the postman, her ex boy friend then my best friend….

….Its pretty clear. I just really love dick.

@LORI

Friend – Your grammar is horrible.

Me – My grammar is 80 and she’s a saint. You watch your mouth.

My local barbers humour is on point