@NUTTY

I got a letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Thank God I won’t be hearing from him anymore.

@Trikkery

-“Dude, he just called you gay!”
-“Aw hell naw! Hold my dildo!”

@Andykop69

I walked in the bedroom to find my wife dead in bed.

Looking at her lifeless body I decided to have one last go. Right in the middle she opened her eyes and shouted, “Boo!”

Honestly some people are sick in the head!

@chocolat_ice_cream

Let’s celebrate the International Women’s Day. A world without women…. would be a pain in the ass.

@roastedtoperfection

I’ll never forget my Grandpa’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

@OssToYouGoodSir

A father is washing the car with his son. After a moment the son asks his father: “do you think we could use a sponge instead?”

@breckendusk

My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex. My girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.

@MrSpikeGaming

I picked up a hitchhiker and he was surprised.

He asked me, “Dude, why did you give me a lift? What if I was a serial killer?”

I laughed and replied, “The chance of two serial killers being in the same car is astronomical”

@ANewDope2187

I hope Death is a woman. That way it will never come for me.

@Soulchunk

An IQ below 70 qualifies you for having an intellectual disability.

Now I just need to figure out if that’s in Celcius or Fahrenheit