@An_aussie_in_ct

There is a short time, later on in every woman’s life, when she ignores the opposite gender for a while

It’s called men-on-pause

@MO

Just spent 30 minutes on the treadmill.

Tomorrow I’m going to turn it on.

@woodyloco

– “Babe are you mad?”
– “Yes! I’m going to explain to you why so you can solve it and this won’t repeat itself!”
– *said no woman ever*

@woodyloco

Wife – “You said you weren’t going to drink more!”
Me – “I’m not. I’m going to drink the same like before.”

@supernurse

All my life, I never imagined I’d wake up at 6am and go jogging…..
…..And I was right.

@Gizmo

I love watching Women’s Heavyweight Boxing…
It’s hilarious to see them fight back the tears when the announcer tells everyone their weight.

@Jeep

The older I get, the more I understand why Noah only allowed animals on his boat.