neither have I

Have you ever experienced that morning surge of inner energy, a charge of invigoration for the day, and an uncontainable desire to create? No? Neither have I.


I was at an important job interview today..
“Are you on facebook?” I was asked.
“Sorry, no. I’m not.” I replied.
“Look, just put your fucking phone away, will you!?”


I have no idea why this cop is so pissed off! I yelled “just kidding” and IMMEDIATLY gave him his gun back!


You know, the band “Fine Young Cannibals” originally had 8 members.


Snooker rules applied to sex
If Red is blocking Pink, go for the Brown.


Last night I was offered a threesome by two hot twins
Sex with Jessica felt great, but Jeremy was a pain in the ass.