How many politicians does it take to solve a problem? Trick question, nobody knows, because it’s never happened.

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Australia said: “No one can come without vaccination”. Djokovic understood: “No 1 can come without vaccination”.

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After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the basics. Like how to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself, and how not to argue with me at the top of the stairs… again.

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she got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she answered with ” probably failing my drivers test “

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@ChrisNewton

My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my wedding dress and after 10 years it still fits. Of course it fits I replied You were 9 months pregnant when we were married.

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My memory foam pillow is so old….. …That it was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

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I think you are wrong.

– In a scale 1 to 10, how much do you like to argue? – Would it be possible to make the scale from 1 to 20? – No – Why not?!

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Not invited

I received a wedding invitation. It read, “Your presence itself is a present. We don’t want any presents at the wedding.” After re-reading it repeatedly, I concluded that I was not invited. So I decided not to attend.

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