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Pour favor

My neighbour’s 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He still can’t say “please” though, which I think is poor for four.

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End of arguing

I was arguing with this really busty woman and she shoved my face in her tits. I don’t remember why we were arguing..

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Early

Let’s make our calendar end 8 years too early just to fuck with people. ~ Mayans

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Job advertising

Join our mid-aged and unfriendly team at an awkward-winning company with more than 1200 employees worldwide gone berserk. If you are: – Looking for a

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So much

Since quarantine I’ve not had a haircut. Hell, I’ve not even stepped on the scales. So today I decided to weigh myself for the first

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Scarry

Yesterday I had a nightmare that my tiktok account was deleted. For a second, I was really scared that I had a tiktok account.

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Choice

Congratulations to the astronauts that left Earth today. Great choice

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Zero

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I was complaining to my wife about our nonexistent sex life. Zero fucks were given.

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