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Jokes

Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 50 best one-liners.

  • When someone says, “It’s better than sex” they haven’t been…

    When someone says, “It’s better than sex” they haven’t been having the right kind of sex.

  • Not a Damn Thing

    So a Police Officer pulls over a little old lady in a car going a bit too slow…
    Police officer asks the usual, “…know why I pulled you over…” “…license, registration, proof of insurance…”

    Lady hands everything over as usual,

    And then the Officer asks, “Ma’am, you got any weapons in the car I should know about?”

    Old Lady answers “a .45 at my waistband, a Glock in the Center Console, a .357 Revolver in the Glove Box, a 12 Gauge under the back seat, and an AR-10 in the trunk.”

    The officer asks, “Jeez, Lady, what the hell are you so afraid of?”

    The Lady then answers “Not a Damn Thing.”

  • “Do you have any idea the long term damage that alcohol is doing…

    “Do you have any idea the long term damage that alcohol is doing to your liver?” the Doctor asked.
    “Fuck off Doc,” I replied, “You always try this one when it’s your round.”

  • discount

    Announcement on the clinic website:
    Breast enlargement. Penis enlargement.
    Discount available for ordering both.

  • when you miss the ads

    – Dear, turn off the TV. It distracts me when we make love, and I can’t finish!
    – I can’t, honey, we’re in the cinema.

  • My wife said I’m a useless, lazy slob & she deserves better..

    My wife said I’m a useless, lazy slob & she deserves better..

    I said, “You woke me up at 3 O’clock in the fucking afternoon just to tell me that?!

  • I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother.

    I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother.

    She’s an animal in bed.

  • I’m in big trouble with my wife.

    I’m in big trouble with my wife. Lying in bed, she asked ” What I’d like to do most with her body?”

    Apparently, “Identify it”, wasn’t the right answer.

  • Recipe said to “Chill in the fridge for two hours”…

    Recipe said to “Chill in the fridge for two hours”… I nearly died.

  • My doctor said that I have to exercise more and eat healthier…

    My doctor said that I have to exercise more and eat healthier foods, this is going to be a huge change for me…

    Finding a new doctor is a tough process.