Every time I have to fold laundry I consider becoming a nudist.. Then I remember what I look like naked and I keep on folding.

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G.F. :You treat our relationship like some kind of game. ? Me: this will cost you 12 points and a bonus round.

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Watching a cooking show and the host said you can use leftover beer to make battered chicken wings.. What the hell is leftover beer?

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Everytime you feel yourself getting pulled into other peoples drama, repeat these words: NOT MY CIRCUS~NOT MY MONKEYS!

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Bono from U2 is the voice of my cars GPS. It sucks. The streets have no name and I still haven’t found what I’m looking

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If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would all still be in Paradise, as they would have eaten the fucking snake. ???

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Boy asks mum, “Is it bad to have a penis?” She says “No, why?” “Because, dad is upstairs, trying to pull his off.” ???

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My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the UPS driver knocked on our door to see if everything was alright

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03 March 2021

Fresh jokes - main issue

Funny fresh jokes. Send yours!

MTV turns 40 this year. Thanks for 14 years of music.

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I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

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Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them how many sexual partners they’ve had? Because it’s well known that counting sheep helps

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Doctor: If you want to lose some weight, quit eating fatty.Me: Like fatty foods?  chips and dip?Doctor: NO, quit eating Fatty!!!

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I had a dream! I dreamed that in 2021 there’s a new viral gastroenteritis: COSHIT. We all go around in diapers, and remember the 2020

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A man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore, she kept staring at him…

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The makers of Viagra have announced that they’ve developed a pill to increase the wetness in women… The pill will be called Niagra.

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2020 is still better than my first marriage

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Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her to calm down, she’ll realize that she’s overreacting and she’ll thank you. Follow me for more

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A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who

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Doctor – You have a serious disease.. Me -oh no..? Doctor-..that you can cure by eating healthier and exercising. Me-OH NO!!?

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I took a girl back home last night. We got kissing on the sofa, before I slipped my hand in her knickers, she asked, “Shall

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A boss has to interview 4 girls for a secretary position. He asked the same question to each one of them. Boss : “A woman

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How to get a woman to think about you nonstop… …borrow a large sum of money from her?

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It would be horrific if farting was as contagious as yawning.

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There was this girl in high school that said she’d only sleep with me if the world was ending, thinking about giving her a call.

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The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the murder of her husband. They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before

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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of

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The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip, do you think about me?” Apparently “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly”

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I read that Covid-19 hasn’t affected the Amish community, it’s probably because they don’t have TV or social media.

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I drove my secretary home after she had had a little too much to drink at our office party. Although nothing had happened, I decided

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Dude: Do u wanna sit on my face? Girl: Why? Is your nose bigger then your dick?

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Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way for the neighbors to pay and build a privacy fence.

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Every time I have to fold laundry I consider becoming a nudist.. Then I remember what I look like naked and I keep on folding.

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G.F. :You treat our relationship like some kind of game. ? Me: this will cost you 12 points and a bonus round.

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Watching a cooking show and the host said you can use leftover beer to make battered chicken wings.. What the hell is leftover beer?

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The funniest joke for 31.01:

This is how you wake up one day, and all of Russia has already been rewritten in Rotenberg.

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Popular Tags: jokes about Vovochka, Ukraine, Putin, husband and wife, school, politics

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