0

matches

North Korea Decided Not To Firing Rockets…
No One Couldn’t Find The Matches…

0

movie

A drunk guy was with his girlfriend
in a cinema and suddenly, he fell
asleep.After a while, he woke up and started screaming ‘MY PENIS,MY PENIS, MY PENIS’! All the people in the cinema were surprised at the guys behaviour. He continued, ‘Where is my penis? Someone has cut my penis and my nuts! Oh God what have I done to deserve this?’ The embarrassed girlfriend said ‘shut up,you idiot! Your hand is in my panty’!.

0

caller id

the caller I.D. says “unavailable”
…then so am I

0

either

If money can’t make you happy, you won’t like poverty either.

0

she will tell you

“Dad…”
“What?”
“How do you know when you’ve met the right woman?”
“They tell you, son.”

0

love

Him: What are you up to?
Me: Looking at cakes.
Him: What’s the occasion?
Me: I love cake.

0

while I sleep

My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

0

show some respect

some-respect

0

nobody

nce, there was this guy, who personally felt that he has committed lots of sin and therefore decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at a church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor..

“Father, I have sinned..”
“Yes son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you..” “Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, its been 3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house; nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her..” “Thats bad my boy, fortunately you realize your mistake..” “Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody was around except for one of her colleagues, so I slept with her too..” “Thats not very good of you..” “Father, last month, I went to her uncles house to look for her, nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too..” “Father..? Father..?” suddenly this guy realized that there was no response from the Father, he walked over and discovered that the father was not there.. So he began searching for him. “Father? Where are you..?” He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano. “Father, why are you hiding here..?” “Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me..”

0

next generation

Im gonna laugh when the day comes when our generation is saying.
“You spoiled little brats! All we had in our day was Xbox’s, PS3’s, Androids, flat-screen tv’s & laptops, you ungrateful little shit!”