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mall

I just realized why they call it “The mall”.
Instead of going to one store just go to “them all”
Them all =The Mall.
Clever.

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side effects

Why are there never any good side effects? Just once… I’d like to read a prescription bottle that says “May Cause Multiple Orgasms”

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i was planned

triznaci

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angry taxpayers

angrytaxpayers

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respond

Life turns to death and asks “Why do people love me and hate you?” Death slowly responds “This is a joke site, stop posting meaningless sentimental bullshit, asshole”

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Instead of calling it “real life” we should just call it “offline”

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trip to Ireland

I’m planning a trip to Ireland next month. I’m going to rent a car and tour the country. So I’ve been practicing driving on the wrong side of the road while intoxicated ….

That’s a legitimate excuse officer.

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I’ve just accidentally discovered an amazing product by simply miss reading a sentence, instead of reading:
“Birth control pills”
I read:
“Bitch control pills”

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I make love like The Neverending Story…
In my bedroom, with imaginary friends.

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birds

Once upon a time, they were known as love birds.
Then they found love and got married.
Now, they’re angry birds!