What did the melon say to his daughter when he caught her running off with her boyfriend?
You’re too young, you cantaloupe!
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
A few from my 8 year old sister…
Why does tigger smell?Because he’s been playing with poohWhich is the hairy side of a monkey?The outside
What did the inflatable principle say to the inflatable school pupil when he brought in a pin into his inflatable school?
You’ve let me down, you’ve let the school down, but most of all you’ve let yourself down.
I know it’s naughty, but I gotta know…
When Santa does come once a year… does Mrs.Claus say “Let it Snow” or “Let it Go”?
Sara Jessica Parker walks into a bar
And the bartender says, “what can I get you?”
My wife asked me to provide her with encouragement as she attempts to lose weight next year.
I said, “Don’t worry. It’ll be a piece of cake.”
3 men walk into a bar
Man 1 starts to kiss man 2Man 3: “dude you can’t do that here”Man 2: “why not, it’s 2019 dude”Man 3: “not for long…”
I remember once at school we had a spelling bee
We also had an ant that could tap dance
People never talk about the 12th reindeer, probably because she’s so rude to Rudolph
Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names
Before my surgery my anaesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.