Fun jokes

I heard some girl having sex moans through my window. in my best mortal kombat voice i could. I yelled FINISH HER!!! I heard alot… Read More »SCORE

Either my boyfriend has early signs of Parkinson’s or I just gave him a really good blow-job.

I lost my phone, so if you find it I can explain the pictures. I suspected my hamster had hypothermia so I needed to stick… Read More »i can explain

A friend will share their lunch. A good friend will buy you lunch. A best friend will eat your lunch

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.

I’m about to start my work, but first let me disamble my stapler and name and polish every part.

I had to laugh last night when my boyfriend said he wasn’t in the mood for sex. As if it’s an option.

Sometimes I stay awake wondering if there’s a number between 1 and 10 that thinks of me too.

I’m going to purchase a dictionary, as after watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don’t understand the meaning of Final.

My next door neighbors Smart car’s battery died… I had to give him a jumpstart from my iPod.