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Fun jokes

Michelle

Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.

NSA

My daughter asked me why I haven’t been reading my texts….. I figured if they were important, the NSA would tell me!!

cheapest

I wish I didn’t buy the cheapest GPS they had. It’s just a woman’s voice, telling me to pull over and ask for directions.

no excuse

Me: is there a problem officer? Cop: I noticed the vehicle swerving a lot. Me: I had 8 beers officer. Cop: that’s no excuse to… Read More »no excuse

idea

I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people that send me a dollar.

more beer

At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…

lower

Women may not hit harder, but they do hit lower.

behind

Behind every great woman is a man who loves doggy style.

finally

I can’t be sure if my vegetarian neighbors are having sex or finally decided to eat bacon…