Fun jokes

wife : Tell me those three magical words.. husband : it’s my fault.

Wife says to husband, “You make love like you decorate.” Husband replies, “What very slow and professional?” “NO,”she replies, “I have to finish the job… Read More »to finish

When my girl tells me her friend’s a slut…. I take it as a hint

im at the age where food has taken over the role of sex in my life….as a matter of fact i put a mirror above… Read More »mirror

Gyms should offer a membership package where you pay for everyday you don’t go.

A man was being interviewed for a post of a commando in Army! Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind , always alert, merciless,… Read More »the perfect candidate

In the event of a nuclear war the only things that will survive are the cockroaches. Which means we should still have a functioning government.

I call myself a ‘Guardian of the Galaxy.’ I’m a security guard at the Samsung store….

I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you

I decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner today. It was just collecting dust.