Fun jokes

After my girlfriends father died we decided to get married stood on his grave. Well he did say I could marry his daughter over his… Read More »Over…

My husband asked me dress up as a nurse tonight to fulfill his fantasy…that we have Health Insurance!

“I’ve been cheating on you,” I said to my wife . She said, “Really? Honestly? You lousy bastard.” “And furthermore,” I said, “she says I… Read More »for a minute

me: ladies first her: is that because you want to look at my ass? me: no, it’s because I’m a gentleman…… looking at your ass… Read More »Coincidentally

We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we’re terrified people in real life will find us… Read More »Find

If you have to drink more than 3 cups of coffee in the morning, maybe you should switch to cocaine.

I seem to have two modes: Sleep is for the weak, and then sleep for a week.

Me: Officer before you arrest me, can I use this get out of jail card? GF: This is why we don’t role play.

It was my son’s birthday yesterday. I said to him last night, “Blow out the candles and make a wish.” He said, “I wish you… Read More »Make a wish

If someone doesn’t call back after 2-3 calls, chances are they’re just not that into you. I wish these debt collectors would understand that.