Excuses are like assholes…
Some people have really nice ones.
thefun
What do you call the last surviving member of a royal family?
The Epic Victory Royal.
I farted and blamed it on the dog.
It was a lie of emission.
I hate phone sex
Once the phone is in, you can’t even hear what the other person is saying.
a horse, a pediatrician and a fish walk into a bar
the horse stands in place, the fish dies and pediatrician just missed his shift
What’s the difference between masterbation and a hand job
Single player vs local Co op
Guys, don’t pee in the woods….
You’d piss mother nature off.
TIL: bumblebees can fly higher than Mount Everest
In retrospect, this was pretty obvious considering that Mt. Everest can’t fly
My uncle doesn’t like us lighting crackers on special occasions..
He says we’re burning money.
What did the pretentious underground portion of a house say to the floors above it at an EDM festival?
“I wonder what the bass meant?”