So as predicted the economic crisis has hit my local area and all attention has turned to the hardship caused to small business. Its been a simply disastrous start to the week…..

Our bra manufacturer has gone bust.The specialist in submersibles has gone under.A dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers.The suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.The Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn’t ketchup with orders.A tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road.The manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation.The local bakers has run out of dough.The clock manufacturer has had to wind down.The shoe shop has had to put his foot down and given his staff the boot.The local computer repair shop is suffering from virus issues.The Undertaker lost the plot.The tyre shop business went flat.The fencing contractor got posted out of town.And the launderette has been taken to the cleaners!

Nothing like a nice cold beer after a nice cold beer.

September 17

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A man finds a genie in a bottle He rubs it. A genie pops out “you have two wishes” The guy says “hold up, aren’t I supposed to get three wishes?” the genie replies “Check your pants” The guy looks down his pants, and slightly surprised, says “how did you know?” Genie says “I’ve been […]

September 17

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Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password: “VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento” When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital.”

September 17

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Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking. I went into the fridge the next day and grabbed a beer Cause I’m not going to listen to a fucking drunk talking to themselves.

September 16

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My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am…… ….. an Ice Cube

September 16

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My wife recently discovered I was cheating after she found all those letters I’d been hiding. She got really mad and said she’s never going to play Scrabble with me again.

September 15

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Sex is like pizza

Even when it’s bad, they still expect me to pay for it

September 15

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I’m really not worried about anti-vaxxers….. It’s a dying movement.

September 14

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What small thing screams “I’m rich”? A dwarf who just won the lottery.

September 12

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A man walks into a bar…

The bartender asks “Why the long face?” The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.” The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself.” The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?” […]

September 12

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