-
TIL it is more important to eat less than exercise, if you want to lose weight
-
Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.
Every day I’m thankful that I live in Scotland.
-
A boy was born without a body
A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him the pub for his first pint. He takes a sip and BOOM – his body pops out. “Take another sip!” everyone shouts, then BOOM – his arms pop out. “Another!” everyone chants, so he takes another sip and his legs pop out.The boy is really happy and he runs outside in excitement and he’s hit by an oncoming truck and killed instantly.”What a shame” his dad said.”He should have quit while he was ahead”
-
When I am on my death bed surrounded by my friends and family my final words will be
“You guys want to see a dead body?”
-
You create a group chat with all of your contacts on your phone. What do you text to make sure that chaos ensues?
-
dad joke
what are you if you put a picture of yourself in a locketindependent
-
A guy is sitting on a plane next to a beautiful girl
Lookong for an excuse to talk to her, he turns to her and says “Wow your perfume smells amazing! Could you please tell me what brand it is so that I can gift it to my sister?”The woman turns to him and says “Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Some idiot might find an excuse to talk to her!”
-
Got an ice cream for my girlfriend
Best trade i ever made.
-
We be vibing
-
Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.
I am thankful every day that I live in Canada.
Jokes
Skip to the main content