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What did JFK realize on 11/22/1963?
JFK finally got it through his head that Dallas was no place for liberals.
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What’s a goats favorite song?
Baaaaaad guy. By Billie Eilish
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You’d think anybody being given a multi-storey car park in the CBD would be cock-a-hoop but no, not Mariah Carey…
She told him repeatedly she didn’t want a lot for Christmas.
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A man is talking to his metal collection
Man: So are you Chinese or Japanese?Metal: Bitch I’m fuckin manganese
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What’s the difference between…
Donald Trump and God?God doesn’t think he’s Trump.
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I really love the ticking of old clocks
My psychiatrist calls it a second hand emotion.
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I miss the high elo spectator games from the old client, that was the stuff.
[removed]
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Winter Racism
Something about Winter makes Minnesotans super racist. Everyone I know keeps saying when I’m driving I gotta watch out for black guys.
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In ancient times, an mighty warrior of the Germanic tribes cut a swathe through the Roman Legions.
His name was Dolf, but he was more commonly called by another name, whispered by mothers to their children as a warning – “The Red”, owing to the spatters of Roman blood that covered his wolfskin armour after battles.It was a week before Christmas night that Dolf strode into a small inn, owned by an old ex-centurion and his family. He demanded an ale, and when the barkeeper querulously asked for payment of three copper pieces, Dolf glowered at him and said: “Do you see my wolfskin armour, old man? Do you see the blood spatters on the fur? Do you not know who I am,” and glancing at the old Roman armour and sword handing above the fireplace, spat out, “you filthy old centurion?”The barkeeper’s wife, who’d been listening with one ear, looked over at Dolf and said, “You, braggart, are rude, filthy and German. And your ‘blood spatters’ are just dark patches where the rain has soaked in.””IT’S NOT RAIN, IT’S BLOOD, YOU ROMAN WITCH!” screamed Dolf, pulling out his sword. He then proceeded to slaughter everyone in the inn, the surrounding villages, and nearby farms. He climbed trees to stab the birds, set cruel traps to catch the animals, and spent three days sifting through the dirt around the inn to find all the insects burrowed there, and squash them with his mighty knuckle.Finally, when his spate of death was complete, it was Christmas night. He walked over to the now flayed innkeepers wife, who was trussed above the fire. Sticking his bloody face into hers, he said, “Rude Dolf the Red knows rain, dear.”
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Scientists did a study on Metamucil.
Turns out it really is the best shit in the world.
Jokes
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