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‘Crystalline blossoms’ or Ice flowers blooming on Valdai Lake in northwestern Russia
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I’ve been secretly injecting soap into my balls to see if I can jizz bubbles.
It’s time for me to come clean.
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I met a guy who was convinced that there were no words in the English language with more syllables than vowels….
I tried to explain to him that he was wrong, but he refused to accept criticism.
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What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
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How do you tie two Hondas together?
With Accord.
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(From my 9 year-old son) What type of fish should you use to catch other fish?
Bait-a fish.
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I went to the grocery store.
The sign said “No food or drinks inside”So I went home.
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I tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbor
… but he said he had naan.
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Isaac Newton died a virgin.
That means I have one up on history’s greatest scientific genius.Because I’m not dead.
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A politician uses statistics like a drunk uses a street light.
For support, rather than illumination.