Fun jokes

Why is it when you are dead and a zombie you can rip open a mans rib cage but when you’re alive you struggle with… Read More »difference

One day a man returns home to his wife telling her that he was fired from his job at a deli mart. His wife asked why and he said, “after all the years I have worked there, I have always wanted to stick my penis into the meat grinder, and today was the day I completely lost my patience and finaly stuck it in there.
Read More »fired

McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”

After spending 20 minutes trying to get my girlfriends bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I’d never put it on now

I need to delete some of my fake dating profiles. It’s gotten so confusing I just met myself at Starbucks.

You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?

A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says… Read More »complimentary

You know the sex was great when your room looks like a scene from ghostbusters. Stuff thrown everywhere, and covered in slime.

Got stopped by a policeman today. “Any idea how fast you were going back there?” He said “I’ll ask the questions”

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.