Fun jokes

With all the housework that I’ve done today, my boyfriend should give me a gold medal… But I’ll settle for a pearl necklace.

This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

At the end of the year the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.
While checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said “I notice you buy a lot of candles, what do you do with the drippings?”Read More »complete dick

I don’t care if you’re here to murder me – we take our shoes off in this house.

I just walked up to a girl while she was chewing gum. I asked her if she could blow bubbles. she siad, “Who’s Bubbles?”

Just been caught playing with myself….. Now everyone knows my cloning experiment worked!!

If I had a nickel for all the times I’m confused, I would be like, “Why do I have these nickels? What is going on?… Read More »more now

They say that eating Subway is healthy, so I always eat some after I leave McDonald’s.

Apparently studying 3D geometry with 3D glasses on doesn’t help.