Fun jokes

Leonardo DiCaprio:*names his child Oscar* Doctor:”Would you like to hold h-” Leonardo DiCaprio:”Say it like we rehearsed it.” Doctor:*sighs* “And the Oscar goes to…”

‘I love you’ is a mathematical function where ‘I love’ is constant and ‘you’ is a variable..

Is it bad that after spending an hour with my psychologist, she has to spend two hours with hers?

Wife: What’s that beeping?” Me: “That’s my seat belt alarm.” Wife: “How can you ignore something so annoying?” Me: “Huh?”

The most popular song in Russia right now is Crimea River.

Me: “Would you like to dance?” Woman: “Hell no!” Me: “Im sorry you misheard me. What I said was, you look fat in those pants”.

The first program of an emo-programmer is “Goodbye world”..   by bozhobg‎

What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him… Read More »Oscar

A moment of silence for the beer that I forgot about in the freezer.

Alcohol: Giving you the ambition to do anything… …while simultaneously taking away your ability to do so.