Fun jokes

Nothing more awkward than singing happy birthday to a person whose name you don’t know.

The inventor of the snooze button has died. His funeral will take place tomorrow at 6:00, 6:09, 6:18, 6:27, and 6:36.

I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette.

Instead of leaking celebrity photos, maybe we can leak PDF versions of college textbooks? Just shooting that out there.

i pretend to be a plastic surgeon to talk girls into showing me their breast. some call it fraud I call it maNIPPLEation

Accidentally took a women’s multi vitamin and I’ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.

It’s illegal to shine a laser pointer at a plane because a cat might attack it.

My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don’t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.

A Beer is always wet, a woman is not….1 point for beer! Beer is horrible, when it is hot….1 point for women! A cold beer… Read More »Beer VS. Women

I love how we call it “social media” when 75% of us are either alone in our homes or on the toilet.