thefun

When I die I want my internet search history to be read out at my funeral. That way all my friends and family will go… Read More »search history

Teacher: “don’t get smart with me.” Student: “with you teaching there is no chance of that.”

“This is the police open up!” “NO!” “Why not?” “It’s really messy in here and I wasn’t expecting guests.”

My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved with drugs… A Porsche and his own house by the… Read More »bad example

I walked into an explosive shop the other day and wanted to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went horribly wrong when… Read More »pin

I knew my psychic was full of shit from the second she accepted my check.

I went to great effort to kill my wife recently, with a completely untraceable poison obtained from a plant that grows for just two weeks on the eastern side of a Peruvian mountain.Read More »scheme

Wife:”Don’t open that wardrobe! your birthday present is in there!” Me:*opening the door*”Too late…this is the stupidest present ever!” Me: “Why the fuck would I… Read More »present

My wife cames home to find me watching the football game…. Wife: “you turn that game off and go and do the dishes!! Me: *throwing… Read More »master

As my teenage neighbour put her jumper back on, I looked at her and said, “Please don’t tell anyone about this, they’d think I’m a fucking weirdo”
Read More »weird