history
School teacher: do you prefer modern history or ancient history? Me: I only know about clearing history.
thefun
Michelle
Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.
so true
Going to war over religion is basically killing one another to see who’s got the better imaginary friend…
Very soon women will pay men to suck their breasts..
Very soon women will pay men to suck their breasts.. BBC Homepage Top News Story – Doctors recommend that women reduce the risk of breast… Read More »Very soon women will pay men to suck their breasts..
pride
I was sitting in a room with my Aunts, uncles and cousins I looked over at my grandmother who had the biggest smile on her… Read More »pride
ready
My husband said last night, “Do you realise my mother is coming over for dinner in 5 minutes?” I replied, “Yes I know, I’m getting… Read More »ready
dinner at the restaurant
Me and my wife were having a romantic meal in a restaurant, when I said, “Close your eyes babe and don’t peek until I say… Read More »dinner at the restaurant
Brain: “Ok body, lets go to sleep”.
Brain: “Ok body, lets go to sleep”. Penis: “Hold the fuck up, I gotta get up and stretch for a second”.
different
I don’t know babe, you have an iPhone and I have an Android. We’re just two completely different people.
better place
Men, never go to a bar to pick up women. Just hang out in the shower head section at Home Depot.