thefun

keep up

Boss: “You’re not suppose to be drinking on the job!” Me: “You’re not suppose to cheat on your wife.” Boss: “Keep up the good work”

Quit quoting me, girls. I was a whore. Not a philosopher! – Marilyn Monroe

Her: excuse me I’m up here. Me: excuse me i was talking to your boobs.

sometimes I spend entire meetings wondering how they get the big meeting table through the door

I never plan on drinking as much I do. …which is why I no longer make plans.

My wife called me today to tell me that the car wouldn’t start. I said, “Honey, when I’m not there you have to sit in… Read More »to the right place

Art History Fact: the Mona Lisa is one of the most famous selfies.

I started arguing with my gf a lot, we rarely have sex anymore and we can’t stand each other either… I think we’re ready to… Read More »it’s time

Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.

You know you’re online sex relationship isn’t working out when you discover she’s been copying and pasting her orgasms.