happy end
I watched a directors cut of a porn film last night. At the end of the film, he actually fixed the washing machine.
thefun
come inside
My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few months now, so yesterday we went to an OBGYN’s office, to make… Read More »come inside
To do list: 1) Go to pet store. 2) Buy bird seed. 3) Ask how…
To do list: 1) Go to pet store. 2) Buy bird seed. 3) Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow.
easier
Sometimes I think that divorce would be easier than putting together the furniture my wife bought at IKEA.
enough reach
I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.
never
I’ll never forget the day I got married. I’ve tried everything: drugs, alcohol, even hypnosis.
mistake
“Well, the woodpeckers were a mistake.” Said Noah, as the ark started to sink…
live longer
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
out of bed
Remember when we had to get out of bed to get on the internet
old way
A hacker attack briefly shut down Twitter on Thursday. Millions of twitterers were forced to talk to each other the old fashioned way. Through Facebook.