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Masked Rodent (58200)

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After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Ingles.”

@Starsbear

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I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was a bit of a slut when she playfully called me her thirty second lover.Then… Read More »@Starsbear

@Jeep

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I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple 💜 🚬💧

@Jeep

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Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he looked like he was 80 over 30 years ago…

I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do I smoke? I said why was that your first question?He said,… Read More »

num-num

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A young woman goes to the gynecologist’s for the first time. She disrobes and places her legs in the stirrups. As the doctor begins to… Read More »num-num

Mrs Simmons

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I entered a competion for kleptomaniacs. I took first prize…and second prize, and third prize, and a couple of unattended handbags…

Happy Father’s Day

A new teacher joins a school. She finds two boys looking very similar in appearance. The teacher asks: Twins…? Boys: No, we are neighbours!