A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers….”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”
Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”
Related Posts
You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table, thrusts a girl on it, and fucks her? I just did that, but with a pizza..
October 19
Read MoreOn our first date. Her: I really like men who plan ahead. Me: That’s why I drank 2 litres of pineapple juice today.
October 17
Read MoreFalse alarm
I’m devastated. I just had a look at my doctor’s notes and he’s written that after my accident, I’ll never be able to wank again. Edit: False alarm! I asked him about it and he chuckled about the whole “doctors have bad handwriting” cliche. It’s meant to say walk. What a relief!
October 16
Read MoreGive a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you can sleep with his wife while he’s fishing.
October 14
Read MoreI beat my wife at dominos the other night. She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.
October 8
Read MoreKing Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old ugly witch can cure him. But the witch demanded a young handsome knight for husband, and Galahad took it for the team and married her. On the night of the wedding, the witch turned into a beautiful woman and offered Galahad the choice, […]
October 8
Read Moremy mate asked “what’s the secret to your happy marriage?” I replied.. “Chemistry… I’m on valium and the hubby’s on Prozac”
October 7
Read More