I got fired from work today I don’t know why, I didn’t even do anything.

A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!! Her husband asked ” what happened ? “” The doctor was stunned and he said that for a 45 year old woman , I’ve the breasts of an 18 year old ” “Did he say anything about your 45 year old ass?” Asked the […]

Professor: April, you are failing my class. April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I’m sure we can fix this. I’ll do annnything to pass. Professor: {gulp} anything? April: YES! Anything you can dream up. Professor: Will you…… study?

My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building course…It’s a boy and he weighs 11lbs 4oz

How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy… You just tell them you can’t come!

My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome with.Apparently, I wasn’t supposed to pick two of them.

I got caught masturbating to an optical illusionI said “it’s not what it looks like”

I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe. I don’t care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!

So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance He answered: “Because I want you to be truly sad when I am gone”

My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad. Until mom found out and hid the urn.