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  • Japanese, Brit and Indian

    in Joke of the Day

    Japanese, Brit and Indian

    A Japanese, a brit and an Indian were traveling by a private jet with their personal belongings. Due to low fuel they were asked to throw off some of their belongings mid air to reduce the weight. They all agreed to discard items which were in abundance in their country.

    The Japanese threw his big bag of chopsticks collection saying, “There’s chopsticks available everywhere in Japan.”

    The brit threw is big bag of tea bags saying, “Tea is the national beverage of Britain.”

    The Indian threw both those guys off the jet saying, “There are lot of humans in India.”

    “““““

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  • Blonde teenager

    A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman”

    She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

    “Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said, “How much will you charge me?”

    Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?”

    The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

    The man’s wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?”

    He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?”

    The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we’ve been getting by email lately.”

    Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” the startled husband asked.

    “Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

    Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.

    “And, by the way,” the teenager added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”

    “““““

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  • JOKESTER

    This Stay at Home shit needs to end soon, today I took a nap simply to stop eating.


  • Test

    Test


  • JOKESTER

    Best part about coronavirus?

    I can tell people to stay the fuck away from me and I’m not just being an asshole.


  • JOKESTER

    Her: “Why do men kneel when proposing?”

    Me: ” They’re talking to the pussy not you…”


  • JOKESTER

    Similarities between Walt Disney and Pornhub.
    – Hiring adults to act like teens.
    – Have lots of family issues.
    – Keep remaking similar content.
    – Lots of teen users.
    – Fun for the whole family.


  • JOKESTER

    My heart sank when I came home early and saw the plumbers van parked in our drive.

    Thankfully though, he was in there fcuking my wife and there wasnt an expensive leak.

    ???


  • JOKESTER

    Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I’m a piece of meat…

    ….And it wouldn’t bother me, if she wasn’t a vegan.


  • JOKESTER

    Me: This weed is shit!!
    ( 15 minutes later) ” I never knew my dog speaks Spanish”!