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Jokes

  • big and round

    Her: Babe, I’m wet 😉
    Dumb Boyfriend: Oh, you want a paper towel?
    Her: Stop playing around babe, I’m serious!
    DB: Ohhh, you want two paper towels then? Her: I want something big and round now!! DB: Seriously?! You want the whole damn roll??

  • out

    Me and my wife were sat outside a cafe in Barcelona today when an absolutely stunning blonde with big tits and a perfect body walked past us,”Quit your fucking staring” snarled my wife.
    …”It’s hard not to…your husband’s got his fucking cock out” said the blonde.

  • carnival

    A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
    A lady asks “What are you dressed as?”
    He says a fireman!
    You break the glass, pull the knob and I’ll cum as fast as I can.

  • winner

    Had a fight with an erection this morning.
    I beat it single handedly.

  • price

    ‘organic’ is a special term used in supermarkets meaning ‘twice as expensive’

  • reason

    I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

  • difference

    5 missed calls from your girlfriend means, you missed a fuck; 5 missed calls from your wife means, you are fucked!

  • tip

    Never wave to your friends at an auction.

  • hello, I am..

    Internet was not working last night spent time with family.
    They seem to be nice people.

  • f job

    My wife filed for divorce when she found out I was in porn…

    what a hypocritical bitch, she was the one that told me to get a fucking job!