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Jokes

  • bad language

    Just tried to remember the Macarena and wound up telling some deaf girl I fucked her husband.

  • multiple

    What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
    Thanks, guys.

  • cheat

    I’m holding a latte and a croissant while I break into this Mercedes… That way people will think its mine and I locked my keys inside.

  • no change

    How many politicians does it take to change a light-bulb ?

    None. Politicians never change anything.

  • movie

    Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to windows 7. He replied “I still love vista, baby.”

  • pass

    Devil: Welcome to Hell…you’re trapped here for eternity, burning in the flames fueled by your sins.
    Me: What’s your WiFi password?”

  • ad

    An Ad from Durex Condoms::
    To all the customers of our competitors” Happy Fathers Day”

  • need

    Did you hear about the astronaut that left his wife over his job?

    He needed Space…

  • trhreesome

    NSA agent: honey I’m home
    Wife: how was work?
    NSA agent: it was great, i had phone sex threesome with a couple and they didn’t even know

  • alone

    I don’t always get text messages, but when I do they start with “Dear Customer..”