Jokes

In North Korea, they developed the first-ever smartphone, just like an iPhone. But if you ask Siri any questions, she reports you to the police.

The government really are sneaky bastards. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you have to drink more.

“It’s never too late!”

~Late people

I hate that they put “use by” dates on condoms… like I’m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.

I hope the next Rambo movie is called “Rambo no. 5”, and its just Stallone dancing thru the jungle shooting a lil bit of this and a lil bit of that!

If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them.

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy, by the time
she gets ready no other place is open!

It’s not about what’s on the outside, it’s about what’s on the inside..
Especially if you’re a fridge.

A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together..

Men have feelings too. For example, right now I feel hungry. So go make me a sandwich before I feel angry! I’ll need my energy for tonight when I feel horny! See??? Feelings….