Jokes

I wonder if the saying “You’ll find love when you’re not looking for it” applies to money too? Because let me be clear …..I’m NOT looking for a million dollars!

Guys, if you want your relationship to last, learn these six words:

“You’re right. I’m wrong. I’m sorry.”

The good thing about smart cars is, if you get bored with the color, you can buy a bottle of nail polish and change it.

Tampax has announced that they will be removing the string from tampons and replacing it with tinsil.
This is for the Christmas period only.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One.
But it takes an expert medical team to remove it.

A teacher was teaching her class the differences between right and wrong. “Here is an example children” she said. “If I were to go into a man’s pocket, take a his wallet and all of his money what would I be?”
A little boy raised his hand and with a confident smile says, “His wife.”

When a doctor remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “High blood pressure, Doc. It runs in my family.”
“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor asked.
“Neither,” the patient replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.”
“Oh, come now,” said the doctor. “How could your wife’s family give you high blood pressure?”
He sighed. “You oughta meet ’em sometime.”

Look.. I know we’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but I think it’s time we take our relationship to the next level.

Can I clean your house and make you dinner everyday? #Jokester

Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church… everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

Mama Bear: “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!”

Papa Bear: “Who hasn’t, you whore?!?”