Jokes

There’s a part of me that just wants to be loved…

and it’s in my pants.

A little boy was lost in a large mall. He approached a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?” The little boy replied, “Beer and women with big tits.”

I don’t really like the term “Morning Wood.”

I prefer to call it “Jodi’s Alarm Cock.”

What’s black and begins with “Nig”?

Night. You racist bitch

Bartenders should put a pink straw in every women’s fourth drink.

This would be a signal for men that she is ready.

A highly dangerous virus called “Weekly Overload Recreational Killer” (WORK) is currently going around. If you come in contact with this WORK virus you should immediately go to the nearest “Biological Anxiety Relief” (BAR) center to take antidotes
known as “Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract” (WINE), “Radioactive UnWork Medicine” (RUM), “Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter” (BEER), or “Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen” (VODKA).
Please rate to raise awareness.

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two drinks.

When going out to a new place, what wifi stands for, Wifi: “Wish I Find Internet”

71 killed in Nigeria as a result of a bus explosion.

What are the chances all on board are millionaires with no family and my surname?

“My mind is telling me nooo… But my body…My body’s telling me yesss…BABY”

Cashier: Ma’am…would you like fries with that or not?