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LPT: Do not use laser pointers to play with your dog. Aside from the obvious potential for damaging their eyes, it is bad for them mentally. They do no understand what it is and where it goes. It can create an unhealthy obsession searching for it or light reflections of any variety after.
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A man goes to the doctor for stomach and throat problems.
A man goes to the doctor and complains, “Doc I don’t know why but every morning before I leave for work I dry heave and almost vomit!”The doctor says, “Well describe your morning routine to me, if you would.”The man says, “Well my alarm goes off, I get up and have a glass of juice and some toast, maybe a bowl of cereal and I take a shower and get dressed and go to work!””and before you leave you dry heave?””Yes! I stand over the trashcan nauseous and I gag and almost lose breakfast!””Hmm… I think I must have missed something… repeat your routine for me””My alarm goes off. I get out of bed. I put toast in the toaster and get some juice. I sit down at the breakfast table and eat, and then I take a shower, get dressed and go to work! And before I leave for work I gag into the trashcan. It’s very unpleasant and uncontrollable.””So you get breakfast and then take a shower?””Yes I get some toast and a glass of juice or a coffee and I read the paper at the table and when I’m done with breakfast I take a shower and sort of plan my day while showering and then I dry myself off and get dressed and that’s always about when my stomach is flopping around in my throat.””Well I think I found the problem. You definitely need to stop reading the newspaper.”
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What do you call it when you get pinkeye from a doctor turned actor/comedian?
KenJeongtivitis.
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Why was 4 afraid of 5?
Because 5 was a registered Six offender
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I don’t trust stairs
They are always up to something.
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Got some sad news today.
After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with his patients and now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.
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Apple breast implants
Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your mobile devices while browsing, as cupholders, and even as a self defence device. Future app updates will include anti jiggle functions, as well as an automated dick and shoulder massage option. Just remember to mention this post and use the coupon code: REDTIT
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Faith in humanity restored
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She: I’m done with you and your fucking chemistry jokes..
Me: Potassium
ucuz takipçi paketleri
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What do you call a disabled cat that does DIY?
A handicat
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Jokes
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