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Jokes

  • tip

    A taxi driver asked me “Aren’t you going to give me a tip?

    I replied “Of course, Don’t work too long into the night”

  • how

    My buddy asked me, “Do you know how the Native Americans said hello?”
    So I say, “How?”

    “Oh, you already knew.”

  • surprise

    Pretty sure I know what my wife’s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, “A 3-way?” she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.

  • hidden

    tHis is A VEry Serious tEXt post WITH no hidden MEaning.

  • third

    If the earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn’t that make every country a third world country?

  • so bad

    The economy is so bad Mcdonalds employees are asking customers, Can you afford fries with that?

  • smartphone

    I bought my girlfriend a smart phone.

    It calls 911 as soon as she starts her car.

  • same resume

    I can’t stand it when women say “I bet you say that to all the pretty girls.”

    Of course I fucking do.

    Don’t you use the same resume when applying for fucking jobs?!

  • fairtyle

    I had a fairytale childhood.

    My Grandma was eaten by a wolf.

  • characters

    I needed a password eight characters long
    so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.