Jokes

“I give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total” says the Genie. The Irishman says “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I wish all the oceans to be full of fish for all eternity and a fleet of fishing boats to catch them.” So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye the oceans were teeming with fish. The Englishman was amazed, so he said, “I wish for a great wall around England, protecting her, and all the foreigners were gone”. With a blink of the genie’s eye, there was a huge wall around England and all foreigners disappeared. The Scot asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.” The genie explains, “Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.” The Scot says, “Ach, double the size of it and fill it up with water.”

The teller is a little taken aback by the customer’s language, but does her best to be professional.”Sir, I’m more than happy to help with that, but I’m going to need to ask you to mind your language while we conduct our business.””Whoa, Lady, take it easy,” the man says, “I just want to make a fuckin’ deposit over here, nice and quick like…””Sir! We are a place of business and I do not need to tolerate such filth. If you can speak civil, then we can proceed to…””Goddam, lady, I just wanna make a fuckin’ deposit and get outta here. Can you just…?”Before he could finish, the teller stormed off to her manager, visibly upset by the man’s coarse language. She complains to her manager for a bit, who finally relents and agrees to deal with the cursing customer.”Hello Sir,” the manager says, “I’m afraid that the teller has taken some offense to the type of language you have been using, and I don’t know that we can complete this transaction.””Oh, for chrissakes, all I’m tryna do is deposit a million fucking dollars…””What?!” The bank manager says incredulously, while pointing at the teller, “And this fucking bitch wouldn’t help you?!”

r/pics•Posted byu/SimenGjelsvik3 hours ago-25°C on a crystal clear morning at Hardangervidda, Norway [OC]
87 points9 comments

Only one thinks it gets better with age.

Address

But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.

My door is always open.

Will they be popular?Remains to be seen