Fun jokes

“I’m leaving you” my wife screamed, ” You don’t lift a finger around this house.” “And what about this?” I replied, waving remote control. “Does… Read More »by itself

Do you believe in love at first sight ? Because you might want to try losing some weight, if you want that shit to happen.

I told my wife “Everybody thinks I’m too sarcastic.” “What makes you say that?” she asked. I said “My mouth.”

What do you say toa girl who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? Anything she wants to hear.

my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow.

I had to change my relationship status on facebook to “It’s complicated” after breaking my right hand.

I came home today to find my wife on ebay again. My kids have a weird sense of humor.

people with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.

I called my boss to tell him I wasn’t coming to work this morning saying “My car won’t start.” He asked “What about the bus?”… Read More »True

-Shhhh -Shhhh -Shhhh -Shhhh A conversation between a cobra and a librarian.