I’m going to purchase a dictionary, as after watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don’t understand the meaning of Final.
Author: thefun
battery
My next door neighbors Smart car’s battery died… I had to give him a jumpstart from my iPod.
distraction
Cell phones are a distraction while driving. Says cops with radios, dash cams, laptops, cell phones, radars and donuts.
BBC news
“Welshman saves sheep by giving it the kiss of life” ….Thats the exact same thing I would have said to someone if I got caught getting it on with a sheep.
guess
They call me Mr. Rhetorical. Can you guess why?
page six
I couldn’t buy perfume this week so I rubbed a magazine on my shirt. When people ask ” What’s that heavenly smell?” I say “Page six.”
I always knew
I always knew you’d hurt me. I knew you’d break my heart and just walk away. Who the fuck steals someone’s beer!?
I learned something
There’s one thing I’ve learnt working at Mcdonalds. I should have fucking tried harder at school.
explanation
wife:”could you explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my arse? ” husband:”could you explain to me, why you didn’t wake up when I put it there? “
Don’t complain
Don’t complain about your job to the lady waxing your vagina.