I like to hug my enemies. So I know how big to dig the hole to bury them in..
Author: thefun
sense of humor
Friend: I see you still haven’t lost your sense of humor Me: I see you still haven’t found yours
chance
My wife said “Tell me you love me”. I replied, “Give me a fucking chance, I’m only on my 8th beer”.
honest
I asked my boyfriend if he would stay with me when I get fat and ugly. He said ” I’m already here…”
firefly
One firefly to another: “I really need to get some glasses, I nearly fucked a lit cigarette”.
quality
Nudist beaches are great The only problem is the quality control.
new game
I’d like to invent a new game. You compare boobs in size, shape, quality and performance. I call it battle of the boobs.
new law
How do we not have a law requiring the cashier to high five you when making a condom purchase?
sounds
Ever wonder if the sound effects in porn is actually just a recording of a fat girl eating a delicious hamburger?
lying
If anyone ever tells you they’ve lost their voice, They’re lying.