thefun

Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: cause you wanted to see how tall I am? Cop: step out of the car, sir.… Read More »I told you

I can’t believe I actually tricked a woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was buy her a ring and live with… Read More »Trick

What’s the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?  Jack Daniels is still killing Indians

I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast

If you ask Vanilla Ice’s mother about his childhood….. She’ll tell you that he was a nice, nice baby.

When a woman is mad for whatever reason at a man and she remains quiet for long periods of time, beware that she is simply… Read More »No mercy

When I was a toddler, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” just after a swear word. I’ll never forget the first day at… Read More »French

My wife wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache… I must have caught it from her last night when we didn’t have… Read More »From her

ME: I had a wet dream about you last night.. HIM: ooh what was it, do tell ME: you got hit by a train, so… Read More »Laughing

Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that’s where i… Read More »Explaining