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Jokes

  • Say “beer can” in a British accent.

    No, wait, that’s “Bacon” in Jamaican.

  • What would happen if the electricity was disconnected at a brothel?

    They would have to use a candle.

  • I HATE MY BUS DRIVER SO MUCH OMFG

    Some kid was being annoying, so I lightly kicked him, so he would get the message that he was being obnoxious, and the bus driver let out a fucking KAREN SCREECH. OH. MY. GOD. This retarded bitch lets out all her rage on ME. FOR KICKING A KID LIGHTLY ON THE FUCKING FOOT. This bitch needs to be fired. I want to take my revenge so damn badly. How can I go about ruining her holiday season?

  • My boss sent me an email in big, dark letters demanding that I personally deliver my report to him ASAP…

    I’ve got to hand it to him, that was pretty bold.

  • What did the exit sign at the sperm bank say?

    Thanks for coming.

  • My mum doesn’t like people who cuss. My best friend cusses a lot. His name is Red.

    It was Fred before she beat the F out of him.

  • How does a 144 Hz TN panel look?

    For reference, I’m currently using a 1440p 144 Hz IPS panel, specifically the Asus MG279Q. While I do like the resolution and refresh rate, I wouldn’t say it’s the most responsive thing in the world (like, it feels like it has a REALLY tiny delay underneath all of it that I can somewhat notice), and the colors… well, while do shine pretty for the most part, it seems like the screen is being a bit weird when producing solid colors. Like, it seems like it has mixed lighting throughout the whole screen, and that it has a bit of a cheap appearance to it (though fortunately no backlight bleed).I found out from a forgotten source, that all 1440p 144 Hz IPS panels are actually AHVA panels, and that they have horrible quality control on them, and are essentially a series of compromises. However, the reason I got one in the first place, was because I really wanted to see how a 144 Hz IPS panel looks. It’s definitely quick, but I can’t help but feel that me viewing it, it seems a bit too blurry for the most part (although that could just be my eyes).I’ve never actually seen a 144 Hz TN panel in motion before, but I’ve seen plenty of 60 Hz ones. I’m assuming the ones I’ve seen are low-end, because a lot of them just don’t seem bright enough, some have horrible viewing angles, there’s washed-out colors, that kind of thing… though, not all of them have washed-out colors, and sometimes when I’m curious as if a panel I’m looking at is either TN or IPS, sometimes I just don’t know unless I look at it from an angle.I guess what I’m trying to say is, what would be my experience if I went from my Asus MG279Q, to a Dell S2716DG?

  • How do you respond to someone calling you a grammar nazi?

    You call them antisemantic!

  • Dad joke

    (not original content)Wife: I have to tell you something. I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m Dad. Wife: No you’re not.

  • What’s the big deal with peeling a banana from the bottom?

    I have peeled from the bottom a few times and have found no benefit. In fact a couple of times it gave me a more sloppy peeling result.So what’s the deal? Am I missing something?