Skip to content

Jokes

  • When were the first hippies?

    Back in the stoned age

  • What is a Dinosaurs least favorite reindeer?

    Comet.

  • Purple lemon

    So this little boy is in the playground when some bullies come along, and they say to him:“Hey, purple lemon, you suck!”And the boy doesn’t know what a purple lemon is, so he asks. And the bullies say:“Well, you’ll just have to ask a teacher then, won’t you?”And so he goes and asks a teacher what a purple lemon is. “Go to the Headmaster!” She screeches.And he goes and asks the Head what a purple lemon is. “I’m sorry, but this is big, we’ll have to go to the police.” The Head replies sadly, calling 999.When the police arrive, the boy says: “But I just want to know what a purple lemon is!”And the police look at him, and take him back to their headquarters, where they call the army, and an army officer arrives. The boy, now in tears, asks; “But what’s a purple lemon?”The soldier looks to the policemen, shakes his head and takes the boy to go see a general.“I only asked about purple lemons.” The boy sobs.

  • Build a man a fire he’ll be warm for the rest of the night.

    Light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

  • Blursed Billboards

  • Why couldn’t the Grinch steal Christmas?

    Because of the Santa clause.

  • What did Bob Ross refer to his children as?

    Happy little accidents

  • Mort

  • Just finished the dishes and there are already more

    It a dishes cycle.

  • Why shouldn’t you carry too many bottles of Jack Daniels?

    It’s pretty whiskey; you might drop one.My 8 year old daughter came up with this one, I’ve been helping her tune it. How did we do?