Jokes

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Because every time I look at you I get rock hard!

So a man walks into a costume party, with a large semicircle around half his body, and strings across it. A woman walks up to him, and this conversation unfolds.Woman: what are you wearing?Man : I’m a harp of courseWoman: but your costume is too small to be a harp.Man: are you…calling me a lyre?!

The gentlemen see a lady shooting left-handed on the practice green nailing 20 foot putts like it was nothing, so the guys ask, “Hey do you want to play a quick round?”The Lady replies, “Sorry fellas, I just finished playing, but if you come back tomorrow morning at 10:00am, we can play a round.. but i might be 15 minutes late.”The men are all in agreement and show up the next morning at 10:00am and there is the lady waiting, right on time. So they all go to tee off, and the lady is shooting right-handed this time. The guys all notice and are a bit shocked but play on anyways.They get to the end of the round and the lady destroys them all. The men are a bit embarrassed and ask for a rematch. The lady replies, “Sure, tomorrow at 10:00am again… but i might be 15 minutes late.” The guys all find this a bit weird considering she said the same thing yesterday and was right on time.Anyways, they all show up at 10:00am and there the lady is again, right on time. Same as before, they go to tee off, but this time the lady is shooting left-handed again, the men don’t really know what to think of this.They get to 18th hole, and this round was even worse than the last day, the men didn’t stand a chance against her. So the lady asks, “One more round tomorrow?” with a wink. Then one man says, “sure, but i have to ask, what is with the switching of hands?”So the lady replies, “Well, when I wake up in the morning I look at my husband’s penis, if it’s laying to the left then I shoot left-handed, and if its laying to the right I shoot right-handed.”One guy thinks hes being smart, he speaks up and says, “So what if it’s sticking straight up??” and the men all laugh.The Lady replies, “Well that’s when I’m 15 minutes late.”

but those two measurements are separate.

She’s very appreciative of our commitment to recycling jokes.

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