Jokes

I love living near a university.
The women never get older.

What do you call two communists who masturbate together?
Cum-rades!

went to a Bush Lovers convention and found out that they were talking about the band

Google Maps should really think about adding a “Closest place to have a piss” option.

What is a socialist’s favourite hotel?
Sheraton (Share a ton)

A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw an elderly man walking past. She hasn’t had a customer in a while, so she calls out to him
“Hey, would you like to have a fun time with me?”
The old man said, “But I won’t be able to…”
“Aww… give it a try… ”
Old man says okay. They go in. The old man whips out his dick and fucks her harder than he had in decades, and for 30 minutes!
When he’s done, the prostitute all exhausted and tired says, “But you said you wouldn’t be able to….”
“…pay you.” replied the old man.

Putin went to see his most trusted advisor, who happened to be his personal physician. The doctor said, “I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?” Putin said, “I am a strong Russian man. I’ll take the bad news.” The doctor said, “the war is going badly. It will take another year to crush the Ukrainians.” Putin said, “thanks, I know it’s hard to be honest with a powerful man like me. What’s the good news?” The doctor said, “your cancer is back and you have only six months to live.”

How to make lesbians like you?
Don’t be a dick.