Jokes

U.S. officials recently shared intel gathered of the Kremlin
They’ve warned Putin is willing to start World Special Military Operation I.

I never knew you drank until I saw you sober last night.

A girl is talking to her guy friend: “I found condoms in my boyfriend’s jacket. We don’t use condoms and when I confronted him, he told me he uses them to masturbate. Do you ever do that??”

“Sure”, her guy friend replies.

“Really?? You masturbate into condoms??!”

“Oh”, he responded, “No. I thought you meant ‘do I lie to my girlfriend’!”

What do you call someone who identifies a disease by reading about symptoms on Google?

Google Doc

How do know you are ugly?

Your dog keeps its eyes closed whilst humping your leg

So one blood cell says “Good morning”
Other blood cell says “Hey, wanna go to the dick?”

I was searching Google Images for Rorschach tests.
But all I found were pictures of my parents fighting.