Jokes

But not to worry, on the plus side, only 6 more sleeps till 2021

Well, that Escaladed quickly.

The Soviet army is marching through the Finnish swamps when they hear shouting from the other side of a nearby hill:”I bet one Finn can beat ten Soviets!”The Soviet officer laughs at this and sends ten of his best soldiers to deal with this guy. After a couple of minutes of shooting they hear the voice again:”I bet one Finn can beat a hundred Soviets!”The officer, now enraged, sends a hundred soldiers to silence this cocky Finn. A few minutes of shooting and screaming later, the voice shouts again:”I bet one Finn can beat a thousand Soviets!”The officer is now absolutely furious with this enemy, but knows that nobody could possibly beat 1000 soldiers alone, so he accepts the challenge once more and sends 1000 of his men. Nearly 15 minutes of shooting, screaming, and bright flashes later, a lone Soviet soldier comes crawling back over the hill with severe burns, covered in blood and half of his leg mangled. Panicked, he yells to his comrades:”Don’t go up there! It’s a trap! There are actually two of them!”

Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.After the wedding, the bride and groom enter their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious, so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.While she was in the bathroom, she opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. She exclaimed, “Oh no, it’s short, pink and wrinkled!”Her groom cried out, “I told you not to peek!”

She said ‘hardback?’So I replied, ‘yeah, with 4 legs and little heads’

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, Frank was the first to die and, true to his word, he made the first contact:”Kris, Kris, can you hear me?””Is that you, Frank?””Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.””That’s wonderful! What’s it like?””Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course” I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (and Kris, you’d be proud — lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to the golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again””Oh, Frank! Are you in Heaven?””No — I’m a rabbit somewhere in Arizona .”

but it needs some work.

On an average the brown parents have 4 kids while the white kids have 4 parents.