I would rather die:
A husband walks in on his wife having an affair. Enraged, the husband grabs the man and takes him out to the shed. He takes the man over to a workbench, and then locks the man’s “manhood” into a bolted down vice.. Then the husband leaves. He returns a moment later with an old, dull, rusty butter knife. The man pleads with the husband, “I had no idea she was married! PLEASE don’t cut off my member!! Please!!”
The husband looks confused? He sets the knife on the counter next to the man and says, “I am not going to cut off your dick?
..I’m going to set the shed on fire. You’re going to cut off your dick.”