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Jokes

  • Front effect

    All medicines have side effects.
    Only Viagra has front effects.

  • There’s lots of ways to show someone that you love them…
    Sex is my favorite.

  • A man and his wife went on a weekend trip to the big city

    Tired of going from shop to shop and arguing with his wife about it, he stands outside the next shop in protest.
    While waiting a prostitute walks up to him and ask if he wants a quickie in the alley.
    After thinking it over, he replies: “Well why the hell not. I haven’t tried much in my life and I’m not getting any younger.”
    He digs through his pockets and pulls out a $5 bill.
    “This is all I got,” he says and tries to hand it over.
    “What the hell do you take me for? $5 won’t get you shit” the prostitute replies and walks off.
    After a while, the wife comes back out and the couple continues down the street. As they pass an alley a woman shouts.
    “You see. That’s what $5 gets you!”

  • Boobs are like the sun

    You can only stare at ‘em for a very short time. But if you wear sunglasses, you can stare at ‘em as much as you want.

  • Why?

  • Two aliens are flying near earth

    Two aliens are flying near earth~
    The first one says, “The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons.”
    The second one says, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”
    The first one says, “I don’t think so, they have it aimed at themselves.”

  • Its been months since i bought the book “How to scam people online”.
    It still hasn’t arrive yet…

  • People still think there are vampires in Romania.
    But I haven’t seen one since 1645.

  • I got kicked out of a hospital after saying to a Covid-19 patient..
    Stay positive

  • The prostitute dressed again and said,
    “It was a business doing pleasure with you.”