Skip to content

Jokes

  • price

    Me: Oh thats cute
    *Checks price tag*

    Me:No its not

  • been here

    “hmm ive been here before”
    “how do you know?”
    “the wifi connects automatically”

  • to save the Saturday

    A man was hit by a car and wasn’t breathing. Witnesses called paramedics but they were afraid he wouldn’t make it. A civilian rushed into the street and gave the guy CPR. The man was alive and breathing when the Paramedics arrived. “You saved this mans life,” They said. “Are you a doctor?” “Nope. I’m a grave digger.” He responded. “And I really hate working on Saturday.”

  • I love you

    Me: I’m gonna study this year.. I have to make my
    Parents proud & get better grades..
    Internet: What did you say ?
    Me: Nothing, I love you baby.

  • pathetic joke

    I named my cat “Honey”. So when I get home i can shout. “Honey, I’m home!”

    Then cry for 20 minutes cause my life Is one pathetic joke.

  • pathetic joke

    I named my cat “Honey”. So when I get home i can shout. “Honey, I’m home!”

    Then cry for 20 minutes cause my life Is one pathetic joke.

  • wtf

    If I was a black girl, I’d go to a tanning salon just so I could burst out the front door looking at my arms and screaming “WHAT THE FUCK!

  • so poor

    Our family is so poor, we all Instagram the same plate of food.

  • paying

    Cashier: ok that will be $237.53
    me: do you accept tears

  • prank

    There is nothing funnier than yelling, “SHE’S STEALING MY CHILD!” and pointing at a woman who’s having trouble with her kid in public.